Invaders from Hyperspace!
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6  |  Invaders from Hyperspace
Scoots , 2/5/2003 11:17:34 AM
From the instruction manual:

· “You have just arrived at your post in the Battle Control Central at the heart of the United Planets Interstellar Galactic Empire.Your TV screen is monitoring activity in the twin solar systems of Terien and Lorien forty-three billion light years away.”

· “If your space ship is destroyed, you can launch another one from a planet of your own color. Push the joy stick in the direction you want your battle cruiser to travel and press the action button to launch.”

· “A planet changes color each time it is hit by laser fire. The invasion fleet is programmed to fire on the planets when they are not attacking the (players).”

· “The battle cruisers can evade enemy attack by landing on planets of their own color. A landed space ship will signal its presence on a home planet by a blinking light.”

· “The first player to down ten enemy space ships wins the game and receives an electronic salute for making the Empire once again safe for humanity.”

And that’s really about all there is to it. The graphics are prehistoric, the background never changes, you can count the sound effects on the fingers of one hand, and there’s no difficulty adjustment. Why do I find this game so eminently playable then? Because graphics, music, and gimmicks are not the measure of a game’s greatness. The never-ending cycle of increasingly complex consoles and games is nothing more than a crass ploy by the manufacturers to part Joe Blow with his cash. 400-watt gigapixel rendering and 3D hyperaccelerators are just the buzzwords marketing creates to allow you to think that your wang is bigger than the next guy’s. Nolan Bushnell’s famous adage at Atari was that games must be “easy to learn, but difficult to master” and that’s the key to enjoying Invaders from Hyperspace.

Essentially you just need to shoot ten enemy ships and the game starts all over, but it’s the nuances that challenge your brain and reflexes. Surely something so simplistic must be easy, right? Then why did that enemy ship just push you into the girls’ lavatory and flush your head in the toilet? Don’t take that crap from him, stand up for yourself! You don’t want to grow up to be one of those parents that foists all their unfulfilled aspirations onto their children and then spazzes out and kills someone at a Little League game, because let me tell you, “I got owned at Invaders from Hyperspace” will not beat a murder rap.

While this isn’t exactly the kind of game I can see inspiring fan fiction or Happy Meal toys, it is a fun way to blow an afternoon. I give it a 6 out of 10 since there is a disappointing lack of difficulty settings or alternate play modes.

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