Final Fantasy X-2
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5  |  Final Fantasy X-2 Review: Cartoon Girl Dress Up Super Repetitive Happy Fun Hour Game Time!
fishbulb , 12/6/2003 9:29:49 PM

Final Fantasy X-2
is a game of conflicts - grand, mind splitting conflicts that make a man question what he is on this earth to do. Conflicts in the game? Hell no. The game is full of J-Pop and bad anime clichés and mediocre mini games. The conflicts are within my feeble brain.

I want to love FFX2 because its made by Square. Square is the company that made me truly love video games. Final Fantasy 4 (2 in the U.S.) was the first game that I truly ever loved. It was the first game I had dreams about as a kid, trying to imagine what Final Fantasy 2 would be like (because in the U.S. we never got Final Fantasy 2 or 3, until the current generation of games). It was the first game I would stay up till 4 a.m. to play, knowing that my parents would punish me the next day. It was the first game I played through completely more than 10 times. Because of FF4, I’ve devoted over a thousand hours of my life to playing games made by Squaresoft. I waited outside Toys R Us for a couple hours to get FF6because of FF4. I sold my Saturn so I could get a
PlayStation to play FF7 because of FF4. I PLAYED SECRET OF FRICKING EVERMORE because of FF4. I want to love FFX-2 because of Final Fantasy 4.

But I can’t. I can’t because there are so, so many things to hate about Final Fantasy X-2. I can hate the fact that they just reused all of the same areas of Final Fantasy X. I can hate the fact that they just reused all of the same monsters from Final Fantasy X. I can hate the fact that they require me to revisit the same areas over and over and over again to progress the plot. I can hate the fact that they removed all of the lush orchestral music from Final Fantasy X and replaced it with inane repetitive electronic music, if I wanted to listen to inane repetitive electronic music I would report myself to the government because some kind of alien pod person would have had to have taken over my body. I can hate the fact that they’ve filled the game with the kind of immature ‘point and laugh’ sexuality that makes adults hate teenagers, full of panty shots and girls comparing the size of each other racks. I can hate the game because they’ve added a system of changing jobs by changing your outfit, which isn’t inherently bad by itself, because it gives each character a number of class options and lots of customizability, but it takes LIKE 5 FRICKING YEARS to watch Yuna change from White Mage to Black Mage and IT’S THE SAME ANIMATION EVERY SINGLE TIME and I’VE ALREADY SEEN IT 934 TIMES because WHITE MAGE CAN’T DO ANY FRICKING DAMAGE TO THE ENEMIES AT ALL (yes, I know you can change the animations to ‘off’ in the settings). I can hate the game because they’ve essentially changed it from an RPG to a series of barely connected mini games with a plot and occasional breaks to have enemy encounters (did you love dodging lightning bolts on the Thunder Plains? You didn't? WELL TOO BAD! WE HAVE EVEN STUPIDER CRAP FOR YOU DO TO THIS TIME!). I can hate the game because theres a band of repetitive bumbling villains (like something off Pokemon) who I constantly have to fight but never actually provide a challenge. I can hate it because Square’s idea of ‘non linear’ game play is to have a completely linear plot that is surrounded by 8571 million non required ‘missions’ that if you do not complete, you will be too weak to defeat the most basic monsters, and you will get the crappy ending, but you can do all the non-required required side quests IN ANY ORDER! ITS NON LINEAR. I can hate it for all those reason, but I don’t because I want to love it. It’s a conflict.

At least it doesn’t take itself that seriously. It tries to stay light hearted and fun throughout and if you can get past its faults, it gives you a lot to do in a bright colorful world. Sure, a lot of what it gives you to do is repetitive mini games (digging in the desert, JOY!) and really really easy battles, but its fun in small doses. Is it Square’s worst game? Oh hell no. But its not going to have the same effect Final Fantasy 4 had on me on anyone.

Now excuse me, I have to go start it over again from the beginning because I didn't hit triangle enough times during a scene to get the 'absolute 100% perfect ending.'


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