Udder Insanity
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  • Action - General, Other
  • 1998
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6  |  Udderly Hilarious, But Will It Keep You Coming Back For MOOre?
Darryl B. , 4/7/2006 10:11:00 AM
I found this game at a (now dead) site called virtualgameroom.com (I think) not long after the dot com crash. So, of course, the site folded a while after that happened, and I forgot about Udder Insanity for a while, but then something reminded me of it a few months ago, so I tracked it down and added it to the database, figuring it would be fun to do a review of it (of course...which nowadays this can be found at http://www.designreactor.com/mutations/udder/).

Even if you're still on dial-up, the game won't take too long to load, and will keep your boredom at bay by having a few facts about cows appear on the screen as you're waiting (heh). The game's very simple to play and easy to learn, as you play a farmer who must milk his cows for maximum profit. I don't know what the hell the guy has been feeding his cows (and/or maybe it's something in the water they've been drinking), but in no time at all, cows start bloating from severe milk production, so you must milk them as fast as you can (yes, this is QUITE the common theme in a video game, eh? [sarcasm]).

You must go for the fattest cow, since, if they get too big, they explode – literally! It's a bit gross, so play at your own risk. Unfortunately, this is going to happen sooner or later, since you only have one bucket to milk the cows with, it fills up quickly, and it takes time to go and empty it at the top left of your playing area. There's also an idiot that appears (who chuckles like a giddy chipmunk, for some reason) to try to tip your cows over; a warning blast from your shotgun (unless you actually hit him) will scare him away. Why is this important? Because a tipped cow is too upset to be able to milk (true fact!)...or in this case, it'll die...and rot...right before your eyes. I'd say it's more grossness, but then you won't have much time to look at what's going on, since more and more cows appear as the game progresses, and they bloat up with milk faster than ever.

The sound effects of a rooster crowing with each new day, cows mooing, emptying the milk bucket, etc. all sound great, and the graphics are cartoonish, although there's also a background of what seems to be an actual photo of a blurry country scene, which is a neat touch, and the way the cows revolt when the game ends is pretty funny. The controls also work great unless you have a sludgy keyboard that sticks.

Unfortunately, even though this game ranks about a 15 on a scale of 1 to 10 as far as a hilarity level goes, Udder Insanity proves to be a bit repetitive pretty quickly and gets tough just as quickly as well (although I may just suck at it). It's a definite party-stopper of a game, though, as long as the speakers are turned up for the mooing and all! So have your herd check out this game anyway just to see how people react to the comedy of cows. 6/10

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