Ghosts 'n Goblins
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  • Capcom
  • Capcom
  • Action - General, Other
  • 11/1/1986
  • 2
  • No
  • 2
  • $7.00
  • ?
8  |  Ghosts 'n Goblins--Masochists Rejoice
Scoots , 1/13/2003 9:43:17 AM
Depending on your inclinations this game is either an exciting foray into a dangerous world of myth and sorcery, or some form of sophisticated mental torture program. Capcom's sidescrolling medieval action title was a port of their popular arcade hit and spawned sequels over several different consoles.

The opening scene is equal parts parts Le Mort d'Arthur and porno novel. Our hero, Arthur, clad only in his underwear, is picnicking with his beau in a graveyard. A flash of lightining breaks this serene tableau and Satan's ornery red hide appears in the sky. With a swoop, he snatches Arthur's girl and disappears in a flash of smoke, leaving naught by the smell of brimstone as evidence that he was ever truly there. No time to spare--put on your armor and get ready to chuck about 50,000 lances in the next ten minutes 'cause you've got a princess to save!

I've always loved the look of this game. It's got just the right balance of scariness and humor. You'll be fighting zombies, ravens, ogres, ghosts, and all manner of demons trying to meet up with the big man himself, Satan. The lance is your initial weapon but you can swap it for other armaments of various efficacy along the way.

The other thing I've always enjoyed about GnG is the music. If you've ever heard the theme music you won't forget it. For my money, the best music on the NES or any other system until Tony Hawk used the Dead Kennedy's "Police Truck."

Now while the look and sound of this game are above reproach, the gameplay is what's really going to have you pulling your hair out. Enemies are coming at you from every which way. Get hit once and you lose your armor; get hit twice and you're reduced to a pile of bones. Did I mention there's a time limit as well? Don't dawdle or you'll be reduced to a pile of bones. I hope you like making precarious split-second jumps because they're plentiful. Time it wrong and you could fall in the river or run into a bat in midair, which will of course reduce you to a pile of bones. Without a doubt, the worst, sneakiest, most frustrating, no-good, lowdown, two-timing varmint you will meet is the little red demon at the end of the graveyard in Act 1 (and elsewhere later on). He's super fast and takes multiple shots to kill so he's going to take some practice. He has an absolutely uncanny knack for reducing you to a pile of bones.

Truly, this game will test the endurance and patience of the stoutest gamer. I've heard whispered rumors in the back of dimly lit taverns that when you finally kill Satan he says that he's just a "spirit" or some such and you have to play through the whole game again (on a harder difficulty level of course) to see the "real" ending. I have never had the nerve to substantiate these claims as I fear my sanity would be forfeit. I rate this game an "8"--it would be a natural ten if only it weren't so bloody difficult.

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